TheKidsAreAlright

Basketball

2012-01-14T22:13:00.002-05:00

Jess and I went to the Y today to play basketball. We played for about an hour, and she must have taken 500 shots. It was a no nonsense Jess. Grab the ball, throw her body at the basket, and shoot. It was like watching Larry Bird during a 3 point contest in the '80s.

I was teaching her how to shoot from different angles. She would take a bunch of shots in that one spot, and then move on to the next one. And if she missed a few shots in a row, she had the Eli Manning look - which is to say, no reaction at all. But she made a lot more than she missed.

After an hour she said she was tired. She should have been - she shot for an hour straight! But I guess she had a great time. She wants to go again tomorrow.

What My Kids Did On Their Summer Vacation

2011-09-20T21:18:00.002-04:00

Okay, need to get back to blogging. Will try harder.

This summer the girls discovered the thrill of roller coasters. We went to Hershey Park and rode basically every coaster they had. The wooden ones were awesome - very big, loud, rickety and bone jarring like a wooden coaster should. Jesse is especially fun to ride a coaster with - she talks a mile a minute throughout the entire climb up, then switches between screaming and talking through the rest of the ride. We also went on steel coasters that went upside down. I felt like I was a kid again.

We spent a decent amount of time at the pool this summer. The girls do all sorts of flips and handstands for hours on end.

We did get to ride waves in the ocean again, at both Ocean City and LBI. We also checked out the water parks - we had a blast. I might have been more scared than the girls on some of the drops. They are pretty fearless.

Jesse and I also managed to squeeze in a lot of video games. She is the queen of playing all kinds of games, and we had many a battle on mini-golf.

I also introduced the girls to a summer ritual from my childhood - a long game of Monopoly. The whole family played one Saturday, and it was fun watching the girls wheel and deal with each other. That Monday I came home from work and the board was out on the dining room table; I assume the girls quickly learned the game isn't fun when it's two people.

The girls are fully back into the swing of things at school, and the fall has lots of fun things going on. But summer is still the best.

Pool Shark

2011-03-23T21:01:00.002-04:00

Jessica's love of games goes beyond board games, card games, and the Wii - it also includes a new found love of playing pool. For the last couple of months Jess and I have been playing, mostly on the weekends but occasionally on a weeknight. I'm no longer that concerned that she'll tear up the felt with an errant shot. She is still too small to reach a lot of the shots but that doesn't dampen her enthusiasm or her determination. Neither does the fact that she often whiffs on the first two or three tries at a shot. The two of us have lots of fun, and I love watching the way she jumps around the table. It's pretty hard not to laugh and have fun playing any game with Jess.

This Notes for You

2011-03-15T20:23:00.002-04:00

Recently Stef has figured out how to "read" music by ear. The other night she wrote down all the notes for the Star Spangled Banner by singing it and humming it and then translating it into notes that she played on the clarinet. For someone who only "hears" music, I thought this was amazing.

I asked her if she could do "Here Comes the Sun" (a song she likes, perhaps proving that the Beatles will eventually outlast everyone and everything, including the beetle). For the next several minutes she hummed the song, then wrote down the notes and played it on the clarinet. She said she doesn't know how to officially write down all the notes, but she understands it the way she writes it. It reminded me of this story of how Phil Collins cued the horn section to play on his first solo album - he couldn't write the notes, so he jotted down a series of short and long lines based on how he wanted it to sound.

Next, I wanted to see if she could play ABACAB, because I heard Genesis named it that because those are the musical notes. Alas, it was time for Stef to go to dance practice, so ABACAB will have to wait for another time. Perhaps the next rainy day I'll ask her to do Stairway to Heaven.

From Jonas to Justin

2011-02-28T20:10:00.005-05:00

It's over for the Jonas Brothers. There was no exact point in time, no overt clues, or actual discussions. There never is in these situations. Just ask Leif Garrett. But make no mistake, the days of Jonas Brothers music, TV shows, posters, and assorted paraphernalia in our household is over. Cue the slow motion flashbacks (with Jonas Bros. mid-tempo music, of course): the girls and I at the Izod Center concert in the summer of '09; Stef and I at MSG in 2008; the 3D movie somewhere in between; the teen mag. poster pullouts; and countless car rides listening to Nick, Joe, and the other guy, the one who plays guitar.

But weep not for the girls, or the Jonas's's', because something new, something better, always steps into the void. His name - Justin Bieber. His hair - immaculate. Stef has full-on Bieber fevor, while Jess is just along for the ride at this point. Stef bombards us daily with facts and figures related to his JB-berness: his favorite color (blue), his favorite outfit accent color (purple), his shoe size (8), his favorite team (Lakers), how many minutes it took him to sell out MSG (22) and his approximate fade from the spotlight (2012, hopefully).

Bieber espouses the same "if you work hard, you can achieve anything" mantra that I heard repeatedly throughout the Jonas Brothers' MSG show back in 2008. I guess Bieber is working a little harder right now. Or maybe the Jonas boys are working really hard at regaining their anonymity. Or maybe it's just zeitgeist fellas.

I actually enjoyed the Jonas run. So here's to you Nick (the talented one) Joe (the cute one) and Kevin (the other one). May the girls cheer you again in the summer of 2041, with their kids, when the reunion tour hits the Chris Christie Garden State Arts Center. If I'm still around I will join them.

Mancala Madness

2011-02-15T21:21:00.002-05:00

After nearly 487 battles, I finally beat Jessica at Mancala. I told her I would mark the date; she asked, "Are you serious?" and I replied, "No, of course not." Then I remembered the blog.

I followed up the historic win with another loss. That makes 1 win, 488 loses, and 9 "time to go to bed" disqualifications.

Helping Out

2011-02-03T21:00:00.002-05:00

There were a couple of instances in the last week that made me realize how thoughtful the girls are.

Last week during one of the many snowstorms we had, I was out shoveling the car so I could get to work. After about 10 minutes, Stef came out in her coat and pajamas. "Dad, I want to help you shovel" This was quickly followed by Jess, who also wanted to help, and who was also in her coat and pajamas.

Yesterday I was trying to clear off what could easily be called "shrice" (a mixture of slush,rain, snow and ice) from the walkway. It was miserable out, but after a few minutes, both girls were at the door with their coats on. "We want to help," they said. It was way too shricy out for them, so I told them thanks but they should really go back inside. They did reluctantly.

Then last night I came home, and Stef had made my entire dinner herself, as well as an awesome brownie concoction with chocolate icing in the middle.

It made me realize that helping someone when they don't ask for it is even more impressive and appreciated then helping someone who does.

Time Capsule

2011-02-01T21:49:00.004-05:00

Every once in a while Steffi will hear me talk about politics (imagine that). She recently asked me if I was a Democrat or a Republican and for the first time, I wasn't sure. I remember being about her age and starting to read the newspaper because I was just getting very into sports. Occasionally I would glance at the front of the paper or watch the news with my mom. Between this and comments I heard from my parents, what little I knew about the Presidents could be boiled down to this:

(then current) President Jimmy Carter: nice guy, peanut farmer, trying to make peace in the Middle East (I always thought Camp David should be called something more formal).

JFK: Great President. He was Irish (so are we) Catholic (so are we); he helped get man on the moon and challenged us to "ask not what your country can do for you..."

FDR: THE GREATEST President. He ended the Great Depression and improved the lives of millions of people with the New Deal. Built the middle class. Elected 4 times!

Nixon: He was a crook and then Ford took over and he was clumsy.

I bring this up because if Steffi were to ask me to point to great Democrats in history, I basically have to dust off the 1977-78 talk track above. Oh, and the current President is a Democrat who really wants to be Reagan.

Now excuse me, I have a sports page to read.

The Dance

2011-02-01T21:17:00.001-05:00

Saturday was the annual daddy daughter dance for Jess and I. She was not feeling well but as expected, she did not want to miss the dance. As I noticed with Stef, the older Jess gets the more she actually wants to dance with me. Of course she spent a lot of time running around with her friends, dancing, comparing jewelry, outfits and the candy they took from each table, but we did get to dance to a few numbers before she ran out of steam due to not feeling well. The only thing we missed was the obligatory "livin' on a prayer" closer from the D.J., but I'm never sure if that one is for the girls or the middle-aged guys pretending they can reach the high notes of the chorus.

Overall we had a blast and we can't wait to see the pictures.

Basketball Personality

2011-01-18T21:46:00.003-05:00

I finally convinced the girls to go to the open gym at the Y to play basketball. Last Saturday we spent a couple of hours shooting hoops, and I thought the way each of them played reflected a part of their personality. Stef had a quiet confidence about her, finding that being a few inches taller then the last time we went made all the difference in being able to reach the ten foot basket and make shots. She hit a lot of bank shots from all angles and was really getting the hang of shooting.

Stef also wanted me to teach her how to do a layup. She spent quite a bit of time determined to get the hang of jumping off one leg and hitting the spot on the backboard that I told her would guarantee the ball would go in. It reminded me of how she puts her mind to certain things in order to master them.

Jess, on the other hand, must have taken 700 shots and made about 4. She had a most unorthodox shooting motion, hopping on both legs, landing, then jumping up again, then shooting. I hadn't seen anything like it since the Felix Unger leg kick. She was getting nowhere near the basket, but she didn't get upset, angry, or defeated; she smiled ear to ear while chasing down every errant shot. She is always about being in the moment and enjoying it to the fullest, and if that included hopping like a bunny and shooting a ball 3 feet short of the basket then so be it. I gave her some advice on shooting but really, she seemed to care less about making a shot. I think she just liked being with me and Stef.

So the girls learned a little about basketball and I learned a little more about what makes them tick.

Words

2011-01-12T21:05:00.003-05:00

I have been very conscious of trying to instill and reinforce confidence, self-esteem and a positive attitude in the girls. When they talk about the future, I tell them they can do anything they want if they try hard enough. So I was really forced to think through what I've sometimes used as a flippant remark about, of all things, the Dallas Cowboys. They were playing about a month ago and Stef asked, "Which team is that?" I said, "The Dallas Cowgirls".

"Why do you call them Cowgirls when the team is the Cowboys?" she asked. Which made me think "yeah, why do you call them that? Like the old comment, "you throw like a girl," am I trying to say that that is somehow inferior to a boy? Stef got the vibe that I meant it derisively. It did seem a little cavemanish the more i thought about it. Especially when I tell the girls there are professional women's sports teams that they could play for when they grow up.

Earlier today, out of nowhere Stef said, "Dad, remember you called the Dallas Cowboys the Dallas Cowgirls." "Yes," I said. "I don't know why I said that. But I do know one thing. A team of Cowgirls would beat a team of Cowboys any day of the week."

"Yeah!!" Stef yelled as she went back to her room.

Yeah indeed.

The Explanation

2010-11-16T22:52:00.004-05:00

Stef is a cheerleader for the football team, but she's admitted that she doesn't really understand the game at all. I've offered for her to watch the Giants with me but she repeatedly declined, until this past Sunday. Having to explain why there are four downs, why they are called downs, why the first down is called first down, why they need to go 10 yards and not more or less became a little exhausting, and that was just in the first five minutes. Trying to explain why a quarterback runs or throws (hint - it has to do with the 10 yard thing), why yellow flags are thrown, what a punt is; it all became a little much for the both of us. Stef slowly stopped asking questions and left after I yelled at Eli for throwing an interception that was returned 101 yards for a Cowboys touchdown. She doesn't understand why I hate the Cowboys so much (it's like asking why does the sun rises in the East - I don't know, it just does).

The whole thing reminded me of one of George Carlin's best routines - the difference between baseball and football. I can't figure out how to link to it here - just search George Carlin baseball versus football and it will pop up.

Halloween

2010-11-03T23:35:00.002-04:00

This Halloween was bittersweet, and not just because a neighbor handed out grapefruits and sweet tarts (okay I'm kidding. It was grapefruits and twizzlers). This was the first Halloween where Stef did the friend trick-or-treating thing. Because I was with Stef a lot on Friday and Saturday, I was privy to the extensive texting, phone calls, and in-person meetings necessary to get five pre-teen girls to agree (eventually) on a meeting spot. I didn't even ask her if she wanted to trick or treat with Jess and I, fearing it would shoot me into some type of Halloween-induced fourth dimension for interfering with the sanctity of the first ever friend-trick-or-treating-without-my-parents-plan.

I still vividly remember walking a 16 month old Stef through the Scotch Plains Municipal Building, her Blues Clues tail wagging back and forth as I tried to explain to her that if she held out her bag a stranger would drop a piece of candy in it. This was her first official active participation in trick or treating; at 4 months old we pushed her around in her stroller up the block for all of 5 minutes, her annoyance with an itchy pumpkin costume soon abundantly transparent.

It's another example of the "they grow up so fast" axiom, although she still isn't too old to share a tootsie roll with the old man.

The Triple Header

2010-10-24T20:04:00.003-04:00

My highlight of the week continues to be watching the girls play soccer. This weekend was great because Stef's game was on Sunday so I got to watch both girls play. Saturday, Jess had 2 games; we had to leave at 6:30 am to make it to the tournament by 7:30, but we had fun listening to radio Disney on the way there. Her team has some awesome players, including herself. Unfortunately, they have yet to win a game.

The coach sent a note to the parents this week saying that the girls have caught onto the fact that they haven't won a game. He didn't mention if they've caught onto the fact that they've been outscored by a googleplex. I was told during the sign-up period in July that every team should win 5 and lose 5 games, not including tournament play, although every team should play .500 ball there as well. Without questioning his sincerity, I guess I'm looking forward to the 12 week winning streak over the next four weeks.

The first game Saturday was a close one. Jess scored the first goal of the game on a great shot, and her team led 1-0 at the half, the first time all year they have led a game at any point. Five minutes into the second half, her team had given up two quick goals, and they lost 2-1.

There was a 2 1/2 hour break between games, and in true seven year-old fashion, rather than head to a diner or a Dunkin' Donuts to relax, Jess stayed and played with some of her teammates on the playground. I spoke to a lot of the parents and parent-coaches between games, and we all agreed that the girls have amazingly talent (the roster is made up of girls who basically scored at will last year on the smaller, goalie-less fields) but they are still learning how to play on a field that's ten times larger than last year, and on teams that now have goalies.

Game two was expected to be much tougher because the girls they were playing were older. Jess's team was outshot 20-0 in the first ten minutes; our goalie should have been wearing hockey goalie pads based on the speed of the shots. Corner kicks flew in across the mouth of the goal, two on ones quickly became four on ones, but because of the outstanding goalie play and the fact that goalposts can stop shots the score was only 4-0 by halftime. In the second half Jess drew the short straw and played goalie. She played well, giving up only two goals on shots that would have been over my head. Jess still had fun, the weather was great, and I put Mr. "the goal is that every team play .500 ball" out of my mind until this post.

Stef's game on Sunday was great. She played the most aggressive soccer I've ever seen her play. She scored a great goal from about ten yards out, and nearly had another one. In the second half she switched to playing defense. At one point she ran across the field to chase down another player and knock the ball out of bounds. She also knocked the ball out of the box a few times when the other team threatened to score. Stef has always been able to excel at whatever she puts her mind to, and it is great to see her play so well this year.

Thanks girls.

Distressed

2010-10-21T08:05:00.002-04:00

The other night Jess and I were sitting on the couch and I noticed she had these cool jeans (for a seven year old) that had some beads in the shape of a heart, some torn threads on one leg and a small hole in the other leg around the knee. "Those are cool, they call them distressed jeans," I said. Jess replied, "No, these just have a hole in them."

I was never a clothes horse.

Friendship

2010-10-10T21:23:00.003-04:00

I was raking leaves the other morning and found a quarter half-buried in the ground. I handed it to Jessica and said, "Look, I found a quarter, put it in your bank." She looked at me pensively, so I said, "It's okay, I found it next to my car; it probably fell out of my pocket."

She replied, "Well, my friend lost some quarters when we had our lemonade stand, so I think it's hers." We gave her friend the quarter today. I found out that the lemonade stand was in August.

What a good friend!

The Competition

2010-10-07T22:54:00.002-04:00

I got home early enough tonight to play the Wii with Jessica. We are like McEnroe vs. Borg on Wii tennis. She still doesn't understand the scoring but we will rally for quite a while over each point. Tonight she beat me in tennis, we tied in baseball, and I barely beat her in bowling and in mini-golf. I like that she's competitive but the whole time we will make jokes to make each other laugh. She also threw out a golfism during mini-golf. Hitting a putt short, she admonished herself, "C'mon, hit the ball." I've only said that 10 times a round for 25 years.

After a couple hours of Wii, we pretty much called it a night, but not before she beat me in two games of Mancala. I've never been able to figure that game out.

Power Shower

2010-10-05T20:44:00.004-04:00

According to a consumer survey from the U.K., men and women spend roughly equal time in the shower each day - a woman spends about 10 minutes, 40 seconds in the shower, while men average 10 minutes, 1 second.

According to an informal observation by me, the men and women of this household would average 10 minutes in the shower per day as well, provided I cut my shower down to 14 seconds.

The point is the girls tend to linger in the shower, particularly Jess. Tonight I was lost in thought reading the latest issue of Rolling Stone when I noticed 15 minutes had slipped away. "Jess, it's time to finish up," I told her. "Okay," she replied. "I just need to wash my body and rinse my hair."

On second thought, let's cut that to 6 seconds.

Beliefs

2010-10-04T21:11:00.006-04:00

Every once in a while I think about how the girls will view the world when they get older. Specifically, I wonder if they will someday consider themselves a liberal or a conservative. I don't care, except being a liberal means setting yourself up for a lifetime of frustration and disappointment. The entire Democratic party needs a fireside chat from FDR, stat.

I bring this up because of what Stef wrote for us to read at the back to school night for parents. In writing about herself, she mentioned the following beliefs:

- people should be treated equally
- teenagers shouldn't litter
- she believes in giving food to the food bank
- trees shouldn't be cut down

Well at least she didn't mention taxing the rich.

Hockey

2010-09-29T22:52:00.003-04:00

Last weekend the girls and I were invited to see the Rangers play the Devils at the Rock. At one time hockey was a popular sport, particularly in the late 80s and early 90s. Today, it's on nobody's radar. If hockey were a celebrity, it would be Ian Ziering. Yes, I know, who indeed.

Anyway, hockey is still a great sport to see live, the tickets were free, and Jess was happy to be going with one of her friends. The last time I went to a hockey game the girls weren't even born, and Ian Ziering was enjoying a comfortable career on 90210. It's been so long that I forgot about the atmosphere associated with a hockey game, namely:

1) The fighting: There were at least five fights during the game, including one in which a Ranger player ducked and covered his head to avoid a further beatdown. During the first fight, I glanced at Steffi, who looked like someone witnessing the ice turning into a burning ring of fire. I told her that hockey is one of the few endeavors, other than boxing, mixed martial arts, or being a Real World cast member, where fighting is condoned, if not encouraged. By the end of the third fight, Jess and her friend were slow motion fighting with each other.

2) The Cursing: In 1979, when I was a hockey fanatic, Denis Potvin of the Islanders broke Ranger Ulf Nilsson's ankle with a hip check. To this day, when a fan finishes whistling a short tune, the crowd will chant "POTVIN SUCKS!!!" What does this have to do with last Saturday's game? Well, the Devils fans have taken over that chant by following the whistling tune with "RANGERS SUCK!!!" Stef was intrigued by the clear, distinct whistling preceding this fairly frequent chant.

3) The Scoring (and Cursing): Since the mid-90s, scoring has been way down in hockey. On the positive side, Saturday's game had lots of scoring, with the Rangers winning 5-4 in OT. On the negative side, each Devils score was followed by Gary Glitter's "Rock and Roll" playing full blast, which included the fans chanting, "HEY...YOU SUCK" after every goal. I assumed this was aimed at the Rangers, not Gary Glitter.

4) The Chanting (and Cursing): I loved going to hockey games when I was younger. Ranger fans would yell "Let's go Rangers", which in turn led Islander fans to yell "1940" (which prior to 1994 was the last Ranger's Stanley Cup win). Since "1940" is no longer in play, the Devils fans reacted to each "Let's Go Rangers" chant with, "RANGERS SUCK!!" It should be noted here that the Devils play a very predictable, vanilla form of hockey. Evidently their fans use the same approach to berating an opponent.

All in all, the girls had a blast and are interested in going to another game. I'm not sure if they could understand what was happening down on the ice, but I had no doubt by the end of the night they knew who sucked.

The Question

2010-09-18T07:07:00.006-04:00

Last night Jessica wanted to have a friend over for a sleepover. Below are excerpts of the conversation

Jess: "Where is Mommy?"

Me: "She's out. Why?"

Jess: "I want to invite (redacted) over for a sleepover, but Mommy's not here."

Me: "Well, I'm an adult too (sometimes), and I'm okay with it. Why don't you call your friend and invite her over?"

Jess on phone to friend: "Do you want to come over for a sleep over? Great! Ummm, hold on."

Jess to me: "Daddy, where is Mommy?"

Me: "She's out, what's your question?"

Jess: "What time can she come over?"

Me: "Whenever she wants to."

Jess (after hanging up phone) "Um, I need to call Mommy and tell her. What should I say?"

Me: "Tell Mommy that the Man of the House decided it was okay for your friend to sleep over."

Jess on phone (I overheard from another room): "Mommy, (redacted) can sleep over. I'm so excited. What? Ummm, Daddy wanted me to tell you something. The Man of the House said it was okay."

Full disclosure: I was told ahead of time that the sleepover might happen. Without that knowledge, this would have been the conversation:

Jess: "I want to invite (redacted) over for a sleepover."

Me: "Where's Mommy?"

A Half, Full Day

2010-09-11T16:05:00.004-04:00

One of the things I try to do with the girls is to have them look at the glass as half-full rather than half-empty. Stef has started playing a guitar, basically strumming chords herself to see if she likes it. This morning she told me she started writing a song, but it only has two chords in it. I told her that was twice as many chords as a John Lee Hooker song, and he was one of the greatest blues artists of all time. I think she thinks I'm making these things up...but so far I haven't had to do so.

Later on this morning, Stef told me she'd rather play offense on her soccer team, but she didn't win the tryout for offense so instead she's a midfielder. I told her that Franz Beckenbauer was one of the most famous soccer players of all time, and he was a midfielder. In fact, midfielders are considered the field general of the entire soccer team.

But the last glass is half-full moment of the day came not from me, but from Jessica. She had her first two games of the year in travel soccer. In the first game, her team looked a little overwhelmed. The team is all new, they've only practiced once, and the field is 4 times bigger than the field they played on last year. The other team had what looked like future World Cup stars, kept the ball on offense the entire time, and scored 5 goals while taking about 84 shots. Jess barely touched the ball at all.

During the game, I thought maybe it was a mistake to sign her up for travel soccer. She went from scoring 8-10 goals a game to trying without success to chase Pele Patty sprinting down the field with the ball on a string.

After the game, when I asked her what she thought, she said "It was awesome. I love soccer!" And in the second game, the team played much better, Jesse had a few shots on goal, and she scored right before the end of the game.

The day was only half over, but it was definitely half-full.

Agreement

2010-09-04T08:53:00.002-04:00

I was watching a Today Show segment yesterday morning on Barack Obama and his kids. He is amazed at how fast his kids are growing up, and can't believe that his oldest daughter has gone from infant to near-teen in the blink of an eye.

The story reminded me that this is the first President that I share even a little bit of a lifestage with, since our kids are roughly the same age. It must be similar to the feeling the Boomers had when Clinton was elected, or the fake cowboys had when W. was elected.

This might be the first time I actually agreed with Obama on something. Frankly, I'd rather find agreement with him on his approach to fixing the financial collpase, his health care policy, his military strategy...I could go on. While not even the leader of the free world can stop the march of time, hopefully the President will realize that everything else is within his power to change for the better.

The Cell Phone

2010-08-20T23:22:00.004-04:00

Today was a day Steffi has been looking forward to for months – the day she got a cell phone. Why today? Because last September we told her we would get her one in August before she went to middle school, and she circled this day on the calendar.

So Stef and I went to the Verizon store today and picked out a phone. She loves it. It’s blue, it’s got a slide out QWERTY keypad, a camera, and best of all, her own cell phone number.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot, it has one more thing. I asked the salesman what packages they had to help parents monitor a child’s cellphone. “You mean the Lojack Tracker?” he bellowed in a voice that rattled the walls of the store. Before the echo subsided, Steffi asked, “You want to track where I am on the cell phone?”

The first thought running through my head at that moment was why Verizon calls such a thing the Lojack Tracker. Couldn't it be called Rainbows and Sunshine, Project Candy Cane, or something innocuous so your pre-teen doesn’t know what it is. Why not the Clean Up Your Room? Kids stop paying attention after that phrase.

I sounded like George Bush when it was discovered he had been wiretapping our phone calls for years. “I don’t want the service to spy on you,” I explained to Steffi. “I want the service so I can protect you.”

In the end, Steffi was happy, Verizon got another customer, and I had a new appreciation for W. Okay, let's just say two out of three ain't bad.

The Collection

2010-08-13T07:49:00.004-04:00

This was the content of the note I saw first thing this morning when I went downstairs to get a cup of coffee:

Chismas

every kind of si lly band there is that we don't have

J+8 (scribbled out)

J and S

I didn't need the "J" to figure out this was the work of Jessica, the ultimate collector queen. She absolutely loves things that are part of a collection, whether it's Care Bears, Webkinz, Silly Bandz or the Fairy Books, a collection of 101,407 fairy books that are themed in groups of seven books ("the weather fairies", the "rainbow fairies" the "pet fairies" etc.) "Foods that start with the letter Q fairies" and "neo-conservative leader fairies" rounds out that series.

Luckily Jessica picks things that are relatively inexpensive, and these collections don't always overlap (there was a heavy up period in Care Bear activity a few years ago, while the fairy books are within the last year). Although it's waned, I'll occasionally come home to see 25 Care Bears staring back at me from the couch, a sure sign that Jessica was watching a Care Bears movie.

I think she gets this from me. Out of the ten hats I own nine of them are some form of Giants hat (but each one is different, as Jessica would say). I also own most Rolling Stones albums, including buying Exile on Main Street in every form except traveling minstrel.

I am happy that Jess shows such devotion to her toys. And if this Christmas I can find "Sports Fairies" Silly Bandz with Barbie Fairy names in Care Bear colors, I will have hit the jackpot.

Thinking Ahead

2010-08-10T22:22:00.002-04:00

The girls were glad to see me tonight after a quick business trip, running outside to greet me and excitedly telling me about their day. Jessica, in a clear example of thinking ahead, told me that for her next birthday party (about 9 months away) she "wants to combine her two favorite things - art...and sleeping."

I suppose we can do an art sleepover party. Not sure what exactly it means, but we have a lot of time to figure it out.

Sisterhood

2010-07-24T09:44:00.003-04:00

Last week the girls and I went to the pool for the afternoon. At one point, Jessica needed to make her third trip to the bathroom. Jess asked if Stef could go with her - again - at which point Stef said no. I offered to take Jess, but she gave me the "I'd rather do math homework for 4 hours a night" look.

As Jess left, Stef asked me why Jess always asks her to take her to the bathroom. I said, "Probably because she feels safer if you are with her."

Without saying a word, Steffi got up to join her sister. As they returned, I could see them quietly holding hands.

That's why Stef is a great sister.

That's Rough

2010-06-19T11:41:00.002-04:00

This morning Jess and I went to the clubhouse at the Scotch Plains Country Club to get her fitted for her soccer uniform. Walking out, I showed her the putting green to the right of the building. "Wow, this grass is very, very short," she said. "Why are there three sizes of grass?" she asked.

I explained that the green has the shortest grass, that the next level is called the fringe, and the tall grass is called the rough. "Oh," she said after a moment. "So our yard is the rough." "Yes, exactly," I replied. I cut the grass when we got home.

Back in the Day

2010-06-16T21:20:00.002-04:00

A couple of weeks ago the whole fam was in the car, and we were talking about the grumpy tendencies of someone who, shall we say, lives in a vacinity close enough to us that our family has had occasion to witness his grumpy tendencies (okay, he's a neighbor). I mentioned that my guess is he's not a grumpy old man, just a grumpy man. Steffi asked me what I meant. I said, "He's old school. He probably was very strict and would yell at his kids over anything at any time. Look at the way he talks to his family now; he doesn't tolerate anything. It's not his fault; back in the day that's the way dads were."

Steffi sounding perplexed, said, "But you don't scream and get mad at us and you're a dad." I was going to say something about getting mad sometimes, but instead took the compliment as a sign that my kids see me as a dad and not a big dude to be afraid of and avoid. I suppose back in the day this approach would make a grumpy man even grumpier, but considering the way people run the world today perhaps all that grumpy child rearing wasn't the best approach.

Soccer stuff

2010-06-13T22:32:00.003-04:00

The girls last soccer games of the year took place this week. Stef helped lead her team to a goal with a great throw-in to a teammate who passed to another girl who scored. Stef's team hasn't lost a game in 2 years, but they gave up a goal in the last minute to tie. Her coach is great so I hope she continues to play and he's her coach. Jessica had 6 goals in her game - the last one involved her and her opponent running neck and neck down the field - Jessica kicked the ball in, followed by her and the other girl flying into the goal. She also hustled back on defense repeatedly to knock the ball away. She definitely had her game face on - especially when I cheered from the sideline and she would shoot me a glare. Luckily she told me afterward it didn't bother her.

The girls and I have been playing soccer in the yard, desperately trying not to hit my car or the plants. We are 0 for 2 in that regard. We are also watching the World Cup. Every game they ask me who I want to win, then root for that team. They will watch for 20 minutes or so before they revert to 95 percent of Americans and not care. Saturday South Korea was up 2-0 on Greece and Steffi said that Korea should let Greece score - that's what her coach would do so the other team doesn't feel bad. I told you he was a good coach.

Fresh Perspective

2010-06-06T08:27:00.003-04:00

Last night the fam was in the car and we passed a Subway (the sandwich shop, not the rail system) and I said, "I haven't had a Subway Sandwich since Steffi got sick eating one." Jessica asked, "What do you mean Steffi got sick eating from Subway?" After we all explained the particulars of Steffi's first experience with what we expect was food poisoning, Jessica seemed outraged. "Wait a minute, you mean Subway EAT FRESH from the commercials?" Their food is fresh!" Loren explained that while Subway makes fresh food, perhaps this particular store didn't follow all the rules. Jessica mumbled something about "they should all be fresh" and got her first "taste" of how reality doesn't always match an advertising claim.

I don't have the heart to tell her about BP's ten year "beyond petroleum" advertising campaign touting, clean, renewable energy sources and environmentally conscious practices.

The Meal

2010-05-13T20:24:00.003-04:00

For Mother's Day the girls were all excited to make breakfast in bed for mom. Jessica rumbled out of bed a little after seven and stared at me like a hungry wolf until I put down my breakfast spoon and my Sunday Daily News and agreed to get the morning breakfast going.

We had so much fun that later that day Stef and I decided to make a special Mom's Day dinner. We created a restaurant called Cafe Schramm (this took 4 seconds to name) and developed a menu for the evening. We decided on:

Italian bread with fresh mozzarella, olive oil, and basil (I forgot the tomatoes)
Spinach salad
Lobster bisque (bought, not made)
Steak (with rice and steamed broccoli)
Schramm Surprise (some fruit concoction with strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, whipped cream and crumbled angel food cake we found on the Intergoogles)

Stef, Jess and I looked like we were on the set of Iron Chef. Ingredients were furiously chopped, diced, and spiced; pans flew around the kitchen like lies at a Glenn Beck town hall, and several beers were consumed while I ran from kitchen stove to outdoor grill to check on the steaks.

Jessica acted as our server, offering up a hand-designed menu and a glass of red wine to start the meal. We had a great time cooking together, and I realized that the girls know a lot more about cooking than I do. They threw out terms from various cooking shows and seemed to know where everything was in the kitchen (although Jess didn't know by "thingy" I was referring to a small saucepan, not a colander.

In the end, we all had such a blast that we agreed to cook something together at least one more time in 2010.

Pay? I'd Play This Game for Free

2010-05-06T07:31:00.004-04:00

Because the girls both play and enjoy soccer, we recently took them to a Red Bulls game. I wanted to show them how many of the skills the girls have and the techniques their coaches talk about translate at the professional level. It was also an excuse to get them to ANY professional sporting event. I've often mentioned going to a baseball game, but it is met with the same response I'd have if someone asked me to go to a Sarah Palin fundraiser. Going to a football game is out ("too violent" and "too much falling down" according to the girls) as is basketball (no interest) and hockey (are adults even interested in hockey at this point?)

The game was great, the girls had a lot of fun, and they were amazed at the players. During the game, we started talking about professional soccer in general. I told them soccer hasn't been as successful as other sports in the U.S., but players can still make a great salary. Stef interjected, "They get paid? I thought they were doing this for our entertainment." I explained that they were doing it for our entertainment and yes they were getting paid; in fact the two are intertwined.

Jess was looking out on the field during this exchange, then leaned into me and asked, "Daddy, I could get PAID to play soccer?" "Yes, you can get paid to play soccer if you work really hard and are very good at it." I think the wheels started turning in her head, processing how to become the first professional artist/soccer player.

Mac & Cheese & A Nice Gesture

2010-05-03T07:55:00.002-04:00

Last night we got home after celebrating their cousin's first communion. The girls were hot, tired, and hungry. Stef asked if they could have Stouffer's Mac and Cheese, a default meal that always satisfies. I said yes, unloaded the car, took out the garbage, and came back in the kitchen to see Stef already over by the microwave. I figured I would fix the girls dinner (after all, you only need the microwave) but Stef said "It's okay daddy, I already made Jessica's and now I just need to make mine." Okay, it's just a small gesture but I love that Stef thought of her sister over herself. I'm pretty sure Jessica was oblivious to the whole thing but it was just the latest example that shows me that Stef will always look out for Jess.

Catching Up

2010-04-19T21:47:00.001-04:00

Here's a few of the things I've been doing with the girls since the last post...

Daddy/Daughter Dance: Stef and I had a great time at the Daddy/Daughter Dance. This time we actually spent most of the time dancing with each other. She had such a great time that she said she wants to stick with girl scouts another year so we can go to the dance again. Funny line of the night - we were one of the first ones there, so we went through the buffet line and ate, and were finished before any of her friends showed up. So Stef and I are just standing around - music is playing but without a DJ, every one's still eating, the place is half empty. After about three minutes, she asks me to bend down and she says, "Daddy, I don't know what to do." At that moment, neither did I. We got a cookie.

Soccer: I've been able to sneak out of work to check out Jessica soccer practices the last two weeks. She is still very aggressive going after the ball; I think it's because she's been playing for a couple of years now. There's two looks that crack me up - one is the scowl when someone blocks one of her shots, the other is the distain she shows towards anyone who tries to push her off the ball. She has the eye of the tiger (notice it's tiger with a lower case "t"; not eye of the Tiger, which is evidently an extremely wandering eye.)

Class Trip: I was a chaperon for Jessica's class trip to Jenkinson's aquarium on Friday. We learned all about seals, sharks, penguins and all different types of fish. Prior to the tour, we played some arcade games where Jesse informed me that "if there was a professional skeeball team I would be on it."

I was in charge of keeping an eye on Jesse and one of her friends, who would be on a pro Rock Paper Scissors team if there was one, as evidenced by her repeated domination of Jess and I throughout lunch and the bus ride home. She leans toward paper but knowing this didn't help me.

Talent Show: Stef and Jess were amazing in the talent show. Stef did a solo ("The Climb") and a dance number with three of her friends - both of which were fantastic. Jess did a group number to The Gummi Bear song - and was dancing and smiling the whole time. She told me that next year she wants to do a solo herself and also a song with Stef. She also told me at dinner that celery should be called "watery" because I told her celery is mostly water, a fact that didn't make her want to eat celery any more than I do.

Games: Jess and I have been playing the World's Longest Game of Balloon Lagoon, a very fun game that we have been playing in five minute increments over the last week. At the very least she gets ready for school quicker so we can play.

Music: The Bruce Springsteen channel on Sirius is the default radio station I play in the car. I'm a sucker for any bootleg version of Kitty's Back. Anyway, Stef still believes every band I listen to features a singer that screams rather than sings. I recently played her Nirvana live to show her that screaming singers is a relative term.

The Trap

2010-02-23T22:09:00.003-05:00

Jesse and I spent a lot of time this past weekend talking about her plans to trap a leprechaun the night before St. Patrick's Day. The trap involves a shoebox filled with a number of rooms and furniture made out of construction paper - a bed, a couch, a television, windows...there's even a small ladder for him to climb to get up into the shoebox. She also has a note for the leaprechaun that says "don't be afraid" because she doesn't want to hurt him, she just wants him to grant her a wish. We're in the midst of figuring out how to set the trap so that when he enters the shoebox to eat the lucky charms we've left, the lid of the shoebox will close shut. I have watched "Survivorman" so I think I can figure something out. We also plan on placing it near a nightlight so he won't be trapped in the dark.

Steph, who started this a couple years ago, came up with her own elaborate trap for the leprechaun, which is about five times the size of Jessica's.

I'm not sure if we will be successful in catching the elusive little guy, but the girls are hoping that at least the leprechaun messes up the house, becasue we all know how much mischief they create. I have a feeling he'll be able to pull that off.

The Path

2010-02-13T07:37:00.003-05:00

Lewis and Clark. Neil Armstrong. The Lombardi-era offensive line of the Green Bay Packers. Each in their own way blazed a new trail, created a new path, made a lasting difference; whether it was going west, landing on the moon or clearing a path for Bart Starr to get in the endzone and win the Ice Bowl.

I bring this up because in their own way, the girls created a path for the rest of our town to follow when we had the big "Snow-tacular" on Wednesday. We were so excited to get to the golf course and sled down the hills that we were the first ones out there. Our first oh, 20 attempts or so consisted of Stef and Jess sliding about ten feet, much too slow and much too disappointing for either of them. But I eventually convinced them that if they created a smooth path they would slide down the hill very fast and very easily. I kept thinking of that Lombardi locker room speech where he drew a play on the chalkboard: "We want to create a seal HERE, and a seal HERE, and run the ball UP THE MIDDLE."

Anywho, back to "Snowmageddon" (actually, a side note first. With global warming causing much harsher weather, will newscasters feel obligated to jazz up every storm with a ridiculous name? And yes Drudge, it's so funny that we're talking global warming and it's snowing out. The people of Arizona and Texas certainly thought so, especially since they haven't seen that much accumulation since...never.)

Okay, so we're back on the hill on the golf course. The girls and I continued to make a path, helped by a friendly woman who let us borrow her giant inner tube to make the path wider, more quickly. Soon after, dozens of people came up the hill, following the path that we had so earnestly created. Soon, the girls experienced their customary luge-like runs down the hill, followed by frequent hugging, laughing and pushing of each other in the snow.

Whatever you decided to call it - "snowmageddon," "snow-tropolis" or "Olympia Snowefall," the girls and I had a blast.

The Kitchen

2010-02-08T06:31:00.002-05:00

Yesterday Steffi wanted to help me with the various appetizers I was making for the Super Bowl. Of course I didn't start making the food until 5 o'clock, and since my cooking skills generally stop at pouring soup in a pot I felt very much like a chef on Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares. Luckily Stef was there. She knew where all the different ingredients were, knew where the various pots and pans were located, and basically "took over" the kitchen as Gordon would say.

Thank you Steffi; not only did you help me in the kitchen, you helped me get to the couch by opening kickoff.

Super

2010-02-05T06:23:00.002-05:00

Two years ago, the best part of the Giants-Patriots Super Bowl was how much the girls got into the game. Okay, maybe that's not entirely accurate. The best part was the actual win by the Giants, but still, I was excited at how excited they were. We went to family swim at the Y to get our minds off the long wait for the game. We bought enough snacks to feed an NFL team. We cooked various kinds of apps. We cheered Eli, booed Brady, discussed why Tiki Barber wasn't there and why Michael Strahan had such a big gap in his front teeth. The girls were in bed by halftime but were excited to know what happened when they got up the next day.

I generally have a serious post-Giants-Super Bowl letdown, so last year I could not get into the game at all. No watching the game together, no talk of Tiki, nary a chicken wing to be had. But since Eli's older brother (as he is referred to in this household) is playing this Sunday, I'm thinking of getting back in the game, so to speak. Steffi is already on board; I just have to convince Jesse that Peyton is as cute as Eli.

Body English

2010-02-02T20:01:00.002-05:00

The girls and I have been doing a steady amount of Wii'ing since Santa Wii'd down the chimney on Christmas Eve. We're very big on Wii Sports, and as the girls found out from the beginning, I'm very big on body English, particularly with bowling. The first time Jess saw me lean over on one leg to nudge a pin for a spare, she said, "Dad, what are you doing?" I replied, "It's body English - it helps move the ball where you want it." She looked at me like I just told her I was the President. I can't help it that I watched "This Week in Baseball" religiously as a kid, which ended every broadcast with Carlton Fisk waving his shot to left field fair to win Game 6 of the '75 Series in the 12th inning.

Anyway, the last few times Jess and I have played I have seen a tremendous amount of body English from her, including the twirl, the fist pump, the hip check, and "the Pele" (falling on her knees and extending her arms and face to the heavens). Tonight during out fierce bowling match (won by her) she finished off a strike with a twirl - and a warning - "Don't mess with the Jess!"

True Blue

2010-01-24T08:52:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I was playing Madden Football when Jess walked in the room. The Giants (my team) were playing the Chargers in the Super Bowl. She asked if I always chose the Giants as my team and I said yes. She was quiet for a minute, then said, "Um, daddy. A lot of people at school are Jets fans." I told her that the Jets are close to the Super Bowl and a lot of people are rooting for them. She had this 'I have to confess something' look on her face. "Um, Daddy?" she began. "A lot of people were cheering for the Jets at school yesterday, and I did too because everyone else was, but on the inside I was rooting for the Giants." I told her she can root for any team she wants. And to myself I muttered, "As long as it's not the Dallas Cowboys."

It's Been a Long Ride

2010-01-20T20:12:00.005-05:00

Okay, it's been a while since I posted anything. Me and the girls have been having a blast, which I'll talk about in the near future. However, the most recent discussion in the homestead has been "the car." I finally broke down and replaced the 12 year-old, 171,000+ mile Ford Escort that was the envy of anyone who ever said, "You know what, I'm going to ride this car into the ground." Like Eli Manning in a two minute drill, that car had a "never quit" mindset. All the years, miles, and yes, accidents have gotten that car no closer to "in the ground" than the Democrats have of getting us a national health care system.

But what does any of this have to do with the girls? I believe they are actually happier than me to have a new car. To quote Steffi, "Now I can actually open the door to get out!" (Okay, so the back right door didn't open from the inside. I looked at it as friendly chauffeur service from a Dad to his first born child.)

When I pulled in the driveway last night in the new Ford Fusion, the girls came running out of the house all excited. After telling Jess to get rid of her ice cream before stepping into a new car that I've owned for 20 minutes, she and her sister jumped in the back seat and started checking out the cup holders, the moon roof, the stereo and everything else important to a child in a car. It was too late to go for a spin, and tonight didn't work out either. Their anticipation level for riding in the car is so high that I dare say it could only match what Neil Armstrong must have felt after strapping himself into a rocket to go hurtling towards the moon.

To underscore why the girls are so excited for the car, and why it's been such a topic of conversation in my house, I'd like to spend a moment to reflect on what the American landscape was like when first brought the Ford Escort home in early 1998. Consider that:

The only reality show on television was "The Real World"

Director James Cameron would soon win a best picture Oscar for his hit movie Titanic.

Eli Manning was the star of his high school football team. Brett Favre's Packers had recently lost the Super Bowl to John Elway's Denver Broncos.

Thursday nights on NBC consisted of Friends, Seinfeld, and ER. Everyone in America was gearing up for the Seinfeld finale that May.

George W. Bush was Governor of Texas. (sigh)

Roger Maris was baseball's all-time Home Run King with 61 homers. The talk of spring training was that Mark McGuire, Sammy Sosa or Ken Griffey Jr. would break Maris' record that season.

The Sony Walkman was a cultural icon. There was no such thing as an iPod.

Netscape was one of the most popular Web browsers. There was no Google.

Howard Stern was on K-Rock in NYC. There was no national Sirius satellite radio, no XM radio, and defintely no Sirius/XM radio.

The name Britney Spears did not ring a bell.

Hillary Clinton complained of a "vast right wing conspiracy" on the Today Show.

I was married for 4 months. There was no house, no kids, no blog.

Thanks for the ride - it was great!

My Giants MVP - DVR

2009-09-13T20:59:00.003-04:00

The NFL season has only just begun, but already my MVP is the DVR. The DVR allowed me to watch today's Giants game at my own pace, which meant watching the first three series, turning on the grill, watching a series, cooking on the grill, watching a few series, eating dinner in the backyard with the family, watching the game until half time, then a short bike ride with Jess, followed by another series and a longer bike ride with Jess - you get the picture. Prior to getting a DVR, my options were to try and tape the game on the VCR and just pick it up from the beginning when it was over; usually I would turn on the game in the middle of the third quarter because I either had a) the opportunity to do so or b) I couldn't wait any longer to see what the heck was happening.

I love spending time with the girls on the weekend, and thanks to my MVP DVR, I can do so and still follow Big Blue, even if it's 45 minutes to 2 hours behind everybody else.

Car Talk

2009-09-05T20:18:00.002-04:00

I was driving around with the girls today, and these were some of the discussions we had:

1. Shirtless men: Every time we pass a guy on the street without a shirt both girls will yell out "shirtless man." Today we passed a guy that was probably in his mid-twenties, which Stef said was "old." I replied that mid-twenties is not that old; she clarified her statement by saying he was older than most of the shirtless men she sees, but that he was young enough to still be trying to figure out what to do with his life.

2. U2: I hate the new U2 CD, despite giving it a couple listens. The girls actually laugh when the song "I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight" comes on. They think it's a dumb title and it doesn't make any sense. Usually I defend the music I listen to, but on this one I have to agree. How can the guy who wrote "One" write such a lame song. But they do love to talk about how dumb that song title is.

3. "Ten Minutes": The girls have yet to realize this, but any question they ask me involving time is generally answered by me with "ten minutes." Examples: How much longer until we get there? How long have we been in the car? When is this movie going to start? When is your football game going to be over? When are we going to Funtime Junction? When will mommy be home? When are you going to take us outside? Jess asked me today when we would get to my mom's house, which I replied "ten minutes", knowing full well we were about 13 minutes away.

Saturday (afternoon) is Alright for Fighting

2009-08-30T22:08:00.002-04:00

It was a rainy Saturday afternoon, and as sure as rain is wet, I was waiting for Jess to ask the inevitable..."can we go to Funtime Junction?" With no other plans, the girls and I headed out for the aptly named indoor oasis.

At this point, the girls are old enough to run around Funtime Junction by themselves, so I sit in a chair and either do work or listen to my iPod (or both), glancing up to make sure they are alright. After an hour or so, the girls ran over to me to complain about a boy pushing them. They quickly went back to playing, but after another 15 minutes or so, they came racing back complaining about the boy again. I asked Stef "how old is this kid?" She laughed and said "like seven, he's about half my size." At that point I knew this wasn't as serious as both of them had made it seem. About a half hour later as we were leaving, I asked Stef if the boy had still bothered them. "No," she said. "I told him I was twelve and Jess told him I knew Karate."

Saturday

2009-08-22T19:30:00.002-04:00

This morning the whole family went to the Community Food Bank of New Jersey to volunteer for a few hours. We sorted cans, bottles and boxes of individual food items into different categories like canned goods and protein, put them in boxes, then loaded them on pallets for food pantries to pick up during the week. The girls had fun, and learned a little about people who are a lot less fortunate than we are.

A few hours ago, Jess and I played a round of miniature golf to make up for the miniature golf birthday party she missed a couple weeks ago because she was sick. Not surprisingly, Jess got 2 hole in ones, one on the particularly long 16th hole. She and I followed the great round with a dinner at Fridays, where we ran into one of her friends. Right after I finish typing this, Jess will be finished with Webkinz, we'll play a few games and call it a night. Not bad for a rainy Saturday.

The Bike Ride

2009-08-03T19:03:00.003-04:00

Stef and I have a lot of fun riding bikes together. It gives me a chance to talk to her about her day and find out what's on her mind. So I was happy when Jessica recently got over what I like to call "The Great Training Wheel Incident of '07" (GTWI for short) and learned how to ride a bike without training wheels. For the record, GTWI was a non-injurious yet indelible incident when one of Jessica's training wheels flew off her bike just as she began descending down the hill at the top of our street. It's the first time the phrase "the wheels are flying off" could be applied literally to a situation I was involved in.

Anyway, we've gotten past GTWI, and I was looking forward to the leisurely "Daddy, there's this boy in class that I kind of like..." phase of daddy-daughter bike riding. But so far, Jessica's idea of bike riding consists of jumping out ahead of Stef and I by a hundred feet like a Tour de Family Bike Ride. I then pedal furiously to catch up to Jess to remind her to stop at the street corner, help her cross the street, then circle back to get Stef, feeling less like a dad and more like a cow herder.

I'm hoping Jess will one day slow down so we can enjoy some memorable bike rides like I have had with Stef. Unless of course, these are the memorable bike rides and we'll just be doing more of the same from here on out.

Fashion Accessory

2009-07-29T07:21:00.002-04:00

Sunday at the pool club, Jessica was splashing around near the middle of the pool when I noticed she was still wearing her pink watch, which she wears 24/7. "Jess, do you want me to take that watch so it doesn't get wet?" I asked. "No thanks," she replied. "I don't know how to tell time anyway."

Tupperware

2009-07-28T07:47:00.003-04:00

When I walked in the door last night Jessica was there to greet me with an empty Tupperware container. I asked her what it was and she said, "It's for you - it's full of kisses." I opened up the Tupperware and she added, "And the good thing is it never runs out." I gave her a kiss and thanked her for making my day.

The Concert

2009-07-16T08:53:00.002-04:00

Last night Jesse enjoyed her first concert - the Jonas Brothers at the Izod Center. This was Stef's second Jonas Brothers concert, although this time we had much better seats (section 110). Stef had warned Jesse that the opening act "plays for like two hours, even though you don't want them to." It didn't stop Jess from constantly asking, "When are the Jonas Brothers going on?"

The first act was a band called Honor Society (another boy band - debut album Sept. 15!), followed by one song by someone named Jesse James (?), followed by yet another non-Jonas Brothers act, Jordin Sparks, whose songs I knew because the girls listen to her music all the time in the car (a little trivia - her dad played for the Giants).

All this non-Jonas brothers activity was followed by Jess asking, "Aren't we supposed to get popcorn?" So one trip to the concession stand later, the lights dimmed, the crowd went crazy, and finally the Jonas Brothers hit the stage! This was instantly followed by the mom in front of Jessica standing up, blocking her view. But then I switched seats with Jess and she could see the Jonas Brothers on stage! I could say they played all their hits, but in the eyes of Stef and Jess every song is a hit. The girls sang along, danced, and when the boys waved their arms in the air, the girls did too. Stef and Jess also had an ongoing conversation all concert long, which I assume was over which brother is the cutest, Joe or Nick (sorry Kevin).

We got back to the car around 11:00 pm, at which point Jess was excited about trying to stay up until midnight (she almost made it). Everyone had a great time, and with all the cameras filming the show, I'm sure we will all get to relive it again in the future (maybe Christmas?)

The Jonas Onus

2009-07-02T22:28:00.003-04:00

If you look up the phrase "managing expectations" on Wikipedia, you will see a picture of me sitting with the girls at the dining room table explaining how bad our Jonas Brothers tickets are (you will see it because I put it there myself earlier today).

The concert came up again tonight and in my typical "managing expectations" fashion I threw out the "you guys remember that our seats aren't that great" spiel. It's mostly because I've lucked out in the past with concert tickets for Stef that I wanted her to know that you don't always get good seats; Jess thinks she's sitting in the front row so I've tried everything from etch a sketch renderings to IZOD center replicas made from Lincoln Logs to show her the distance from our seats to the stage. They asked to see the seats tonight so I went on the IZOD Web site and showed them the seats - way up there in section 228, where I've seen the likes of U2, Bruce Springsteen, Peter Gabriel, AC/DC, John Mellencamp (I think he was still using Cougar back then) and countless others. The site happened to say "tickets available" and just for the heck of it, I put in for 3 tickets. And lo and behold I saw 3 lower level seats just to the left of the stage. Of course, just to throw a wrinkle into things, these new seats were three times what I paid for the first set of tickets.

I had 3 minutes to decide, according to the Ticketmaster countdown clock on the lower right hand corner of the screen. And then the questions started in my head. Jess is only 6; does she really need good seats? Stef is 9 and already saw them last year, does she really need to be that close? Can I unload my existing tickets? Are they even going to remember this a year from now? Then I thought back to all my bad seat experiences from my concert history and pulled the trigger. I think I'd rather sit in the good seats myself than sit in the boonies once again. Plus, I skipped the last Bruce tour and the Police reunion tour the year before so I haven't overspent on concerts. And maybe, just maybe, the Jonas Brothers will do a cover of Backstreets.

Up

2009-06-20T08:38:00.004-04:00

Last night was an "Up"-themed night. Stef was having a sleepover with some friends, and rather than have Jess feel left out, I wanted to take her out to dinner and a movie. There were three "Up" moments over the course of the night:

1. Grown "Up": Unlike with Steff, Jess and I rarely do things that involve just the two of us; I think it's because she always wants Stef around. So during dinner I got a chance to spend time with Jess just focusing on her. I asked her about her friends, about school, her teachers, what she wanted to do this summer, and the boy at Fridays she thought was cute. I had my first "Up" moment of the night; for a split second, I could see myself having this exact same conversation with her 20 years from now (perhaps in the same Fridays).

2. Put "Up": On our way to the movie, Jess let me in on the secret that she and Stef had made earlier that day (the one each swore not to tell anyone). Stef had promised to pay Jess 25 cents if Jess would leave any room Stef and her friends were in. Jess was so excited at the thought of getting money that I didn't have the heart to tell her that Stef was using bribery to put up with her sister.

3. Movie "Up": Jess and I saw the movie Up. It was a great movie, although Jess was a little scared at some of the scenes. As we walked to the car, she was telling me the parts that she thought was scary. As we got in the car she said, "Maybe we can see the movie with Steffi later this summer" (please refer back to bullet 1, sentence 1).

Game Face

2009-05-28T21:57:00.002-04:00

Steffi is really into softball. She can hit, she has an arm, and on occasion, she can field a ball hit to her. In all fairness, she is brand new to the game. Her first practice she took off for third instead of first, and the other night she was the catcher but told me later that she really wanted to stand next to the pitcher in the field but forgot what the position was called. I'm trying to help her out, while also realizing that she's playing because she likes to try new things, not necessarily to try and be the next Jenny Finch. The other night I was driving her home from practice and giving her tips...which base to throw to in different situations, when to charge a ball, which way to hold the glove...I frankly could have circled the block ten times and kept talking. I looked back and she was slumped in her seat staring out the window. I asked her if everything was okay. She said, "Yeah. I just hope Jesse likes what I got her for her birthday." I think that perfectly summed up the phrase, "it's just a game."

The Allowance

2009-05-11T20:03:00.002-04:00

This conversation took place between Stef and I in the car:

Stef: Could you pay me $20 if I don't whine for a week?

Me: What if instead you helped mom around the house?

Stef: What about $10?

Me: I'm sure if I stood by the TV when it's time for bed, I'd win the bet. I'd rather you help mom out around the house; I'll give you an allowance.

Stef: Yeah, but I'll get like 25 cents a day just to set the table; it'll take me 4 days just to get one dollar.

Me: Maybe, but when I was a kid I didn't get an allowance at all.

Stef: Yeah, I don't get one either.

Me: (silence)

The Dance

2009-05-03T12:06:00.002-04:00

Jess and I went to our first daddy-daughter dance this weekend. "Dance" is a very loose term for the night, which should more appropriately be called, "Hold my soda and chicken nuggets while I run around the dance floor with my friends," but I think that's too many words to fit on an invitation.

I was happy to go because it was all Jessica could talk about the last couple of weeks, and both she and Stef love the concept of getting all dressed up for a night out. She wore a little black dress because 1) she thought she looked grown up and 2) she is little. Accompanying the little black dress were high heels, a necklace, a bracelet and a ring.

In between the inevitable running around and the DJ getting frustrated at his broken bubble machine, she tried to teach me to dance to Cotton Eyed Joe and I tried to teach her how to slow dance. By the time the Miley Cyrus and Cheetah Girls sing-alongs by five year-olds gave way to 30-and-40 something men singing along to "Livin' on a Prayer" both Jess and I knew it was time to go. In the end, we both had a great time. And I get to relive the experience again in 2 weeks with Stef.

Pure and Easy

2009-04-19T21:17:00.002-04:00

There's a great Who song called "Pure and Easy" that Pete Townshend said was the centerpiece of an entire concept album that never was (Lifehouse), which ultimately became Who's Next, which actually never included the song Pure and Easy anyway. (I know, it doesn't make sense to me either.) The concept was that the meaning of life could be found in a single musical note. I was thinking of that song tonight after watching Steffi perform in the school talent show.

Steffi's been in the talent show for a few years now, but always in a group. This year she decided to do a solo, singing This is Me from Camp Rock. When the subject of singing a solo first came up a couple months back, I told her I thought it was great and offered her encouragement. Meanwhile, back on planet worried parent, I'd have sidebar conversations with me wife. Sample conversation: (Me)"Is Steffi really going to do a solo?" (My wife) "Yes." It's not that she can't sing, it's just that she'd be standing alone in front of 300 or so neighbors, strangers, classmates, etc. You know how these things can go - kids freeze, music skips, words are forgotten, curtains don't fully close, crowds laugh and then turn angry,tomatoes are thrown.

Anyway, as the weeks passed, Steffi practiced, the sidebar conversations stopped, and we all looked forward to the show. At Thursday's rehearsal Steffi said she was so nervous she was shaking, but she sounded good and remembered all the words. At today's show, she and her Brownie troop did an act together, which was shortly followed by Jessica's Daisy troop doing a number called "Snuggle Puppy" that was as cute as it sounds. Then there was an intermission and a lots of acts before Steffi returned to the stage.

When it was her turn, Steffi walked up to the microphone, the spotlight shone, the karaoke music started, and she started singing. Then all of a sudden the music got really low. Steffi paused for a split second. It seems her mic was turned low so the sound guy turned her music lower. She quickly resumed singing as if the sound people really didn't just turn down her music several decibels while she was standing on stage alone for the first time in her life. She sang great, the crowd gave her a big cheer, and we all went out to celebrate afterward. She told us that she could have been better, and that she missed a cue later in the song and compensated by singing a little faster to catch up. She wasn't upset, and she explained everything very matter of factly. Three hours later she was flipping through a teen magazine looking for songs that she could sing at next year's talent show.

Stef's first solo performance. Pure and Easy.

The Toy Bucket List

2009-04-08T15:58:00.004-04:00

I don't have a "bucket list". I know that was a big topic when the movie of the same name came out a few years ago, but occasionally you still hear people reference it. I did ask God to let me see the Giants win one more Super Bowl, and he already made that happen in 2007 (I should have said 3 Super Bowls, but I didn't want to be greedy). My other bucket list-type-goal would be to have the health, time, and money to play golf regularly when I retire. But if there was such a thing as a toy bucket list, meaning things you should do as a kid before you become an adult, today would have been taylor made for the list.

Today I took the girls to see Miley Cyrus and her dad play at the Hard Rock Cafe, which aired live on Good Morning America. My friend John got us passes for the event, which was "invitation only", meaning all of the couple hundred people waiting outside "knew someone who knew someone" in order to get a wristband that got us in. The girls and I got up at 4:00 am, got in the car by 4:45 and were walking in Times Square by 5:45 am. it was so early that Jessica said the only people up at that time of day are robbers.

The girls wound up about 20 feet from the pre-teen pop star Miley Cyrus, who sang three songs, including one with her dad Billy Ray. He also sang a couple of songs before thanking the crowd for coming out. Steffi swore that Miley looked at her and waved, and we were close enough that I believe it really happened.

In terms of Steffi's toy bucket list, this is the latest in a list that includes seeing the Jonas Brothers at Madison Square Garden and seeing The High School Musical concert at the Izod Center (floor seats, no less). Both she and Jessica have also been to Disney World, Hershey's, Sesame Place, Crayola, and The Harlem Globetrotters, all of which are toy bucket worthy in my book.

Stef was very appreciative of the day, realizing that she was lucky to be able to get to see Miley so close (I struck out trying to get concert tickets a year or so ago, and couldn't even get tickets to her 3D movie because the theaters were sold out, so this was a big score). Jessica was excited because usually I just bring Steffi to the concerts, but now that Jess is a mature five years old I figured she could handle the crowd and the noise.

Later on we'll watch GMA on DVR and re-live the latest toy bucket entry.

Are You Ready to Rock?!!?

2009-03-31T20:29:00.006-04:00

I'm very excited about what's shaping up as my summer concert series. No, I won't be going to see Bruce. I was really hoping to see him, but I was denied by ticketmaster. And no, I won't be seeing U2, even though I've been a fan for 25 years and think they put on an incredible show. The ticketmaster gods were just not with me on that one either. But I did manage to score some very hard to get tickets - to the Jonas Brothers.

Saturday morning I told the girls I had to stay home from taking them to their Y classes so I could try and get U2 tickets, when really I was trying to get Jonas Brothers tickets. I used the complete concert buying playbook - two phones, two computers, calling every ticketmaster number I could find. And then, when all hope seemed lost, good 'ol Nick, Kevin and Joe decided to add more dates to their tri-state area tour stop, and I managed to get tickets for the girls and I.

I kept it quiet for the weekend, but honestly, how long could I stare at the puppy dog eyes of Stef and Jessica while I sat on the biggest news of the year - no - the decade - no wait - EVER!

Jessica immediately asked if we were sitting in the front row, which would technically be true if the Jonas Brothers were playing from the roof of the IZOD Center. I warned the girls that the seats were really not that great, but that I'd get them binoculars and part of the fun is just being in the arena. And besides, they would be in the same arena AS THE JONAS BROTHERS!!!!

This will be my second Jonas Brothers concert, which equals the number of times I've seen Bruce, who has played 700 concerts in NJ and is nearly twice the combined age of the Joni (I'm assuming that's the plural of Jonas). When Stef and I went last summer to the "Burning Up" tour, she was convinced that we could get their autographs after the show because she saw the Globetrotters and they let her down on the court for autographs. Needless to say, I spent the summer gently reminding her that we would not be getting autographs. But she did get to sign their tour bus as we walked out of MSG. The girls and I have already talked about how many t-shirts we'll buy (lots), what time we'll leave for the concert (WAY early), and if we really are sitting in the front row (I'm going to have to work with Jess on this).

As a dad, if I had to choose between getting Bruce, U2 or Jonas Brothers tickets, I'd choose the latter because the girls will have so much fun together, and they will both scream their heads off for an hour and a half straight and talk about the concert the rest of the summer. But if you happen to be going to see Bruce, please don't tell me he played Backstreets and The River during a 3 1/2 hour set, or that U2 put on a better show than Zoo TV. The only thing I could top that with is another special appearance by Big Rob, and as a rock fan, you and I both know that your Bruce bests my Joni.

Editors Note: Since this posting, I was able to scour 2 tickets to U2 in the mezzanine section of Giants Stadium. I chalk it up to Nick Jonas, who has taught me to always keep the faith no matter the odds. Rock on!

That's great

2009-03-24T22:41:00.003-04:00

A few months back Stef was on her scooter when a car drove by us. "That's great," she said dejectedly. "That boy is in my class and he just saw me on a scooter." Sunday she found a branch on the ground, picked it up and started to use it as a walking stick. We were having a whole discussion on why a walking stick is even necessary when a car drove by. "That's great," she said. "That boy is in my class and he just saw me holding a walking stick."

So far I haven't said anything to her about these comments. I'm hoping her self esteem can't simply be broken with a stick. But I intend to talk to her before I hear, "That's great, that boy is in my class and he just saw me standing next to my dad."

I'm Spent

2009-03-15T20:55:00.007-04:00

This blog is generally all "kumbaya" about the stuff I do with my kids, but there's something I've got to mention, and it's about them indirectly anyway.

If one more person tells me that President Obama is hurting our children's future with his spending, I may spontaneously combust. It's not that I'm for trillion dollar deficits, it's that most of our nation's 220 year debt can be attributed to two men. And I can explain it all in two short paragraphs.

From the time George Washington became President in 1789 until Jimmy Carter's Presidency ended in 1980, 39 Presidents rang up $900 billion in debt. What was it spent on? Well, to breeze through it - the Civil War, World War I and World War II, the New Deal, the Marshall Plan, the Korean War, the Great Society, Vietnam, and putting a man on the moon. In eight short years, Ronald Reagan managed to increase the nation’s debt from $900 billion to $2.6 trillion. It took him only 8 years to nearly triple a debt that it took 39 Presidents 191 years to accumulate. Quite a nifty feat, until you consider that George W. Bush managed to double a $5 trillion debt to $10 trillion in 8 short years himself. How?

Despite being the party of fiscal responsibility, sound budgets and smaller government, the modern Reagan Republicans have no intention of cutting the size of the government. They've never shrunk the size of government, despite 28 years of telling us government is the problem. When you add tax cuts to massive increases in government spending, you get...massive debt.

Whew, 220 years in two paragraphs. I wonder if I could cut it down and Twitter this.

But, you may say, Presidents don’t make the laws, Congress does. Right. In that case, no one should be criticizing Obama. However, Presidents do set the tone, provide the vision, and have veto power to send back a bill with massive debt attached to it. Reagan and Bush set the tone for increasing federal spending while also cutting revenues (taxes) coming into the government.

So please spare me the “Obama is hurting our children’s future with all his spending” line. If I need to look at my kid’s future, I need look no further than my own past, when I was a kid, when Reagan decided that deficits don’t matter.

The World's Strongest Man

2009-03-11T21:57:00.004-04:00

One of the things I love about being a dad is the questions I get. Sunday I'm walking towards the garage to open it for the kids and Jess asks, "Daddy, did the world's strongest man fix my bike?" Before this question even registered in my brain, Stef came up to me and whispered, "Just say yes Daddy." It was one of those situations where I wish I'd heard the previous five minutes of discussion.

Anyway, I rolled with the punches. I said "Yes, the world's strongest man did fix the bike. Me!" (they're young enough to believe that Dad could be the strongest man in the world).

Jess asked because about a year ago one of her training wheels fell off while she was at the top of the hill on our street. She didn't fall, but she's been afraid of riding her bike ever since, even though she'll ride her two wheel scooter faster than most kids can ride a bike.

So, Jess, Stef and the World's Strongest Man got on their bikes for the first ride of the spring. We went about ten feet when Jess said she felt her wheel was wobbly. That's when the World's Most Rationale Man piped in and said, "It's fine Jess, the wheels are supposed to have a little give in them." She went another couple feet and the training wheel fell off. She cried, ran inside, all the time yelling, "I told you it was loose!" The World's Most Remorseful Man grabbed her scooter and everyone proceeded on the bike/scooter ride.

The Art of the Misdirect

2009-03-07T08:19:00.002-05:00

One of the techniques I've tried to use to overcome escalating disagreements with my kids is "the misdirect." Anyone with children knows that once your child focuses on wanting something or wanting to do something, they will repeatedly ask for it until you either cave or boil over in rage or frustration (sometimes you have to laugh and think - how did I just waste so much time and energy fighting over a blowpop?)

The misdirect is simply an attempt to turn your child's attention away from the subject matter - staying up an extra hour, watching another TV show, having "just one treat" - to something else entirely, with the hope that they will magically forget what they were asking for, or, more likely, to de-escalate what could turn into a never ending verbal tug of war. Even though my kids are way past the "terrible twos" these situations still occasionally pop up.

But last night the tables were turned - Jessica used the technique on me. The last 45 minutes or so before bed she got into a case of "the askies" - she needed water (no problem), she wanted a treat (popsicle after much hesitation), she was "hungry" (grapes when she really wanted something else). As I was taking her upstairs, she asked for a cookie. I gave her my best stern Dad look and told her that she couldn't have a cookie, which was quickly followed by a whiny counter argument. I joked that maybe she could dream about them, which was followed by what I swear was a cricket noise. Finally, as this minor disagreement began to escalate, Jess pointed to her recent artwork and said, "Daddy, didn't you see all the artwork I did?" We spent the next several minutes talking about her artwork, but I was just as impressed with her first time use of the art of the misdirect. Not bad for a five year old.

Hootin' and Hollerin'

2009-03-03T21:11:00.002-05:00

Last night Jess wanted to show me some of the hats she has in her dress up box. One of them was a cowboy hat. For roughly the next 45 minutes, she walked around the house saying "Howdy partner" and making up stories about milking cows, something about cats on the farm, and how people out west do things differently. Amazingly she kept this accent going the whole time.

I'm not sure where she figured out the accent; the only time I've mentioned cowboys is in reference to George Dubya not being a cowboy because he was never seen near a horse (that and he didn't buy the Crawford ranch until he decided to run for President).

I just thought it was funny that a five year old would put together a 45 minute skit.

Who's the D-Sider?

2009-02-22T20:06:00.003-05:00

This morning Jessica looked at me very seriously and asked, "Daddy, was it you or Mommy that decided that Steffi could have a DS for Christmas?" I looked out the living room window for a moment, trying to remember if Santa was responsible for the DS gift, and wondering if this was some sort of Santa-related "gotcha" question. "Why?" I asked, stalling for time.

"I just want to know who decided that she could get a DS?" she continued. Remembering that the DS was from us, not Jolly St. Nick, I said that both Mommy and Daddy talked about it, and that we agreed to get her one. "Well," she said, "could you please get me one for my birthday?"

I suppose if I told her it was Mommy's decision I never would have gotten the follow-up question

Their Heart is in the Right Place

2009-02-15T21:02:00.002-05:00

I was hoping to actually sleep late Saturday morning. But I didn't realize that Valentine's Day makes the girls as excited as Christmas (and Easter, and their birthdays, and Halloween...)

Both were up at 6:40 am and scampering around the house. We got them a couple of small gifts. The girls made us Valentine's, and Jessica continued her recent tradition of making 20 cards for each family member. All week long she asked Loren and I what we liked. Then she'd run upstairs and write it down on a card. When I told her I liked the Giants and Eli Manning, she told me she didn't know how to spell either word. But she did give me a card that had Eli written on it, so Steffi must have helped her out.

The Write Stuff

2009-01-29T22:23:00.004-05:00

The scene: I'm minding my own business, enjoying a bowl of cereal for dinner at 9:00 pm after a pretty lengthy work day. Steffi and Loren are in the hallway talking, followed by Steffi coming into the dining room and reaching across the table for a pencil.

"Fine, I'll erase it," she says. She grabs the pencil, returns to the hallway and starts erasing something from the wall.

I get up from the table, fully satisfied from my breakfast/dinner. "What's on the wall?" I ask in typical I'm-not-really-sure-what's-going-on-but-just-trying-to-be-helpful mode. "It's a heart," says Steffi. "Who drew a heart on the wall?" I asked, more out of curiosity than a aren't-we-past-the-writing-on-the-wall stage mindset. "I don't know," Steffi answered unconvincingly.

"Okay, I drew the heart. I wanted to see if a pencil could write on the wall," she admitted, as I noted in my internal voice only that "if I could write on the wall with pencil" would have been the grammatically correct way to explain it. Of course, if I truly wanted to correct her, I could have also gotten into a much larger discussion over why a wall was better suited for the task than say, a piece of lined paper, colored construction paper, or a notebook. But in the grand scheme of things, this was not a big deal.

"Stef, now you know, you can write on the wall with pencil," I replied.

"Well, I was really trying to get Jesse in trouble. See, I drew the heart just like she does," Stef continued. Apparently she would not hold up well under cross examination. I asked one question and the confessions just started pouring out.

"You don't have to get your sister in trouble, she can do that just fine all by herself," I said. I felt bad for Jess, but glad that Steffi didn't lie to us.

Theory of Rela-tim-ity

2009-01-27T20:43:00.005-05:00

Einstein's theory of relativity is basically about the relation between time, space, and gravity (or at least that's what the googles tell me).

This past weekend I had a thought I'll call the Theory of Rela-tim-ity (it's a working title). It started at the YMCA pool, where the girls and I were splashing around having a good old time. Both girls were yelling "daddy! daddy!" over and over in order to get my attention. A guy who was probably in his mid 60s was close by, and told me to enjoy my kids trying to get my attention, because before you know it they will be grown up (his kids were in their 20s, and he mumbled something about how they can't even give him a call even though they have cell phones).

Everyone, whether they have kids or not, has heard that "kids grow up soooo fast". Either you know it yourself, your parents told you, a friend has told you, or if you work with me, you've heard me say it. But I think there's a Theory of Rela-tim-ity at play here. It's about time, space, and the gravity of the situation. I don't want to get all technical about the complex mathmatical equations that went into the theory, so I'll simply boil it down to this - time flies when you're having fun.

For example, if I look back at 8 years with Stef - wow that just flew by. But if I look at the last 8 years with the Bush administration - what a long, slow, tortureous time it was (and I literally mean tortureous). The gravity of the two situations is quite different, which affects the whole time/space continuum.

Spending a half hour watching Colbert - feels like ten minutes tops. A half-hour getting my teeth cleaned - I feel like I have more teeth than an alligator. When the Giants have the ball and the lead with 4 minutes left, I swear each second takes at least ten. But if the Giants are down by 7 with four minutes left...you get the point.

So I will no longer bemoan the fact that my children are growing up too fast. I will chalk it up to having way too much fun with them, which is how it should be. There will be other things in life that throw the whole time/space continuum the other way, and will do my best not to get dragged down by the gravity of the situation.

The Letter

2009-01-20T23:37:00.005-05:00

I was home a little early today and got the chance to help Steffi with her homework. Steffi’s teacher has asked the class to write a letter to Barack Obama. The letters are meant to be a response to the letter the new President wrote to his daughters.

There is one particular paragraph that mirrors my feelings about my own family, and what I believe our nation needs to refocus on. He writes:

“I want all our children to go to schools worthy of their potential—schools that challenge them, inspire them, and instill in them a sense of wonder about the world around them. I want them to have the chance to go to college—even if their parents aren't rich. And I want them to get good jobs: jobs that pay well and give them benefits like health care, jobs that let them spend time with their own kids and retire with dignity.”

What a difference from our most recent ex-President, who spent the last several weeks doing a media tour, press conference and address to the nation reminding us of the themes and images he’s focused on during his administration, namely fear, terror, evildoers, threats, enemies…(sweet dreams children!)

We live in the greatest country in the world. We all strive to do our best, to be our best, and achieve success, which can be defined not by the riches in our bank account but the richness in our lives. To get my children there, I’d rather focus on the themes found in Obama’s message to his daughters than the message W. reminded us of as he ended his term.

PDA

2009-01-12T21:30:00.002-05:00

I dropped Steffi off at school this morning, which I very rarely do. I do know that she likes to be left off at the sidewalk, and then she'll walk by herself the extra 50 yards or so to her line. Just as I was saying goodbye, I remembered that she also doesn't like public displays of affection, particularly with a parent, especially around school. When I said goodbye I tried to do it quickly and efficiently - sort of like Kramer ordering soup from the Soup Nazi - just say goodbye, turn and walk slowly back to the car.

So I was pleasantly surprised when she gave me both a hug and kiss goodbye, along with the requisite, "I love you Daddy."

Thanks Stef!

Pierce de Resistance

2009-01-09T20:35:00.002-05:00

After the extensive lobbying campaign for a Nintendo DS (a wish granted by Santa) Steffi has evidently turned her focus on her New Year's resolution - getting her ears pierced.

I say evidently because I haven't heard this from her directly. She has talked to my wife, who passed along the request to me. She was told to gather my response, which in turn would be relayed back to Steffi. It's like a familial peace, I mean pierce, process.

There are mixed feelings about this request in my household, and by that I mean everyone is for it except me. My first reaction when my wife brought it up was, "Ears pierced? She's just a kid!" When she reminded me that Steffi would be 9 this year and is currently in the third grade, I came up with what I thought was a thoughtful response. I pretended my cell phone was vibrating and it was probably someone from the office calling.

You know the feeling when you put on a little weight? At first you don't really notice. So a few weeks go by, you know you're not eating right or exercising, but your mind is telling you that things are in control. Then one day you wake up, you can't button your pants, and you look in the mirror in amazement and say, "Wow I'm fat."

That feeling is sort of like what happens with kids. One day you're trying to swaddle them to get them to sleep, but before you even realize it they're asking for pierced ears, cell phones and iPods. It really makes you start to think.

Hold on, I think my cell phone is ringing...

Skateaway

2008-12-27T20:22:00.002-05:00

I took the girls roller skating today. Steffi usually roller skates, while Jessica plays games. Stef is a very good skater, and I love watching her weave in between the bad skaters flopping around and the fast skaters using everyone else as an obstacle course. For the first time, I got skates for Jess and myself, images of the three of us gliding around the rink dancing (skating?) in my head.

I'm not sure why I thought roller skating was like riding a bicycle. After two minutes of wobbling like a poorly constructed Sean Hannity argument, I decided I'd be better off helping Jessica if I could stay upright. Jess was using the one foot rule for skating novices, meaning she fell at least once for every 12 inches she tried to move forward. She ditched the skates for skeeball. It took her about 8 minutes to spend $10, winning a few tickets that were quickly exchanged for a paper Chinese fan that broke when she opened it.

It dawned on me that maybe roller skating was a bad idea. I just spent $40 in 15 minutes, Jesse was bored, waving a broken Chinese fan and begging for more money, and I was frustrated that merely standing up on skates caused back spasms.

I decided to ask one of those questions that you know from parental experience has very little chance of succeeding. "Jess," I started, "why don't you put your skates on? Steffi really wants to skate with you." She replied, "Okay." You could have knocked me over with a feather, except I was no longer wearing the roller skates.

I was impressed with Jessica's determination. She grabbed the walls. She grabbed Steffi. She fell. Repeatedly. But she continued to make her way around the rink, each time a little bit better. When I asked if she wanted to leave she said no way. When it was announced that the roller rink was closing, she was the last skater on the floor, still using the walls to help her but moving a little faster. I was equally impressed with Steffi, who could have been angry that her little sister often slowed her down, constantly pulled her down, and generally kept her from skating like she normally does. But Steffi was a great help, and never once complained.

It's Better to Give Than Receive (at Least to Your Sister)

2008-12-21T15:28:00.003-05:00

Sometimes the girls can be...a handful. Like when Jessica cried during an entire 45 minute car ride home yesterday, or when she screamed and cried for 20 minutes about wanting to go on the computer this morning, when I simply wanted her to wash her hands after going to the bathroom. But thankfully these moments are increasingly rare, or happen while I'm at work (I didn't really mean that last part, sort of).

Anyway, I'm much more likely to see the girls being nice to each other or to other people. Like helping a little boy in Funtime Junction find his father, or Steffi helping Jessica put her seat belt on, or getting out of the car to re-close Jessica's car door to make sure it's shut.

The latest thing they've been doing is wrapping presents that they've gotten each other for Christmas. They are both can't wait for the other one to open up the presents. Of course they're excited about getting gifts, but I've heard more about their upcoming gift exchange than anything else. It's very sweet, and has probably bought them an extra tantrum or two.

Food for Thought

2008-12-15T21:59:00.002-05:00

A few times I've tried to explain to the girls that there are people in this country that don't have enough food to get through the day. I don't think the girls really understand it, but I'm a lot older than them and I don't understand it either. Anyway, there's this great new program put together by The Community Food Bank of New Jersey (CFBNJ) called, "We Can't Let This Bank Fail." Because of the current economy, the CFBNJ is in a bind - there's more people in need of food and services from the food bank, but there are less and less donations coming in.

This organization makes every dollar stretch, and the woman who runs it - Kathleen DiChiara - is an amazing person. Check out their Web site and donate a few dollars. It will make a huge difference.

Visit http://www.njfoodbank.org/.

Teach Your Children. Well?

2008-12-09T20:39:00.004-05:00

Recently I read in the NY Times that the median family income rose 147% from 1982 to 2007. Wow, nice job everyone. Way to give 100% (or, more accurately, get 147%).

Unfortunately, the statistic that immediately preceded it said that the average cost of college tuition and fees increased 439% over that same time period. That's not a typo. Four Hundred and Thirty Nine Percent. I'm thinking maybe I can trade in our 529 for a 529,000 plan.

The study by the National Center for Public Policy and Higher Education also found that compared to the rest of the world, the U.S. has slipped in terms of college preparation and graduation. My dad, who didn't go to college, always said that a parent should aim to make the lives of their children a little better than their own lives. To do that, I'm going to give it my best 500% effort.

Yule Light Up My Life

2008-12-02T23:12:00.002-05:00

The Christmas season officially began in our household, as it always seems to, when I hung the lights outside the house over Thanksgiving weekend. I love getting into the spirit, as they say, but usually the light hanging leaves me as frustrated as the Simpson's episode when Homer tried repeatedly, and futilely, to build a dog house (if I remember correctly, he collected so much money from putting change in the swear jar that Marge bought him a dog house). Not so similarly yet equally understanding , my wife prescribed preventive medicine by offering to hold the ladder for me and finding the appropriate hooks and other instruments associated with the holiday light show. Frustration averted.

With lights lit and ladder loaded back in the garage, the Xmas festivities turned to when to get the tree and when to visit Santa. We plan to get the tree this Saturday. As for the Santa visit, to quote Steffi, "No thanks." I felt like I'd been punched in the gut by Burl Ives. No Santa visit?

I've been gamely trying to keep the Santa theory alive, but I think I might be the only one in the household that still believes. Steffi is definitely not a believer, and I have a suspicion that Jessica just doesn't want me to believe that I believe that she doesn't believe.

There's still a few weeks to try and rekindle Kris Kringle, but if in the process we spend a lot of time together as a family, have fun and share lots of laughs, then we will have received a gift better than any Santa real or imagined could bring.

Thanks

2008-11-26T00:04:00.002-05:00

A quick list of what I'm most thankful for with the girls (in no particular order):

Bike rides with Steffi
Watching gymnastics class
Telling me what they did in school that day, and being proud when they say it
Jesse running to the door to watch me leave in the morning
Playing basketball with Steff at the Y
That every vacation is the best vacation they've ever had
Taking the girls to Bowcraft
Riding waves all day with Steffi at LBI
Jessica helping rake leaves and asking for a giant leaf pile
Both girls asking me "which team do you want to win?" when they see me watching football and then cheering for that team
Jessica asking if I can stay home from work so I can play with her
Being into music
Steffi always looking out for Jess
Going to the movies
Wiffle ball in the front yard
The girls laughing hysterically about hiking a football and yelling "hut...hut...hike"
Jesse telling me not to put cheese on her bologna sandwich even though I did that once and it was about 2 years ago
Pretending I don't see Jessica playing spy even though I can hear and see her
The countless notes and drawings they give to me
The goodnight kiss and hug
The daddy daughter dance with Stef
Taking Stef to the Jonas Brothers at MSG
Playing Go Fish
Having Jess explain the rules to a board game to me, even if I have a 35 year head start on her
Playing ping pong with Steffi
Laughing every day
Finding myself saying "you know, the kids are alright" pretty regularly

Shoegazing

2008-11-20T20:17:00.002-05:00

The other morning I was unsuccessfully trying to clean my jacket to avoid buying a new one when Steffi walked up close to me and inhaled deeply. "Oh, that's not shoe polish," she said disappointedly. She loves the smell of shoe polish, and loves helping me polish my shoes. It reminds me of when I was a kid, because I loved my dad's shoe shine box, and remember wanting to help him. The shoe shine box seemed like a symbol of someone who was important, at least important enough to have to shine their shoes. It represented making a living, because they were the shoes my dad wore to work every day. It was a way to connect with my dad, as well as a way to pretend to be a grownup, if only for the few minutes it took to help him shine his shoes.

Maybe Steffi feels the same way, or maybe she just really likes the smell of shoe polish. Either way we made a date to polish my shoes this Saturday.

Sunday

2008-11-17T07:08:00.002-05:00

When you're in your twenties you love Saturday night, but when you're...older...and have children you can really look forward to Sundays.

This past Sunday meant:

Watching Steffi sing in the children's choir at Mass, where she looks very grown up
Raking leaves with Jessica (she came flying out the door after first saying she'd rather stay inside)
Going to the family swim at the Y, which has become the late fall and winter "must do" activity
A dinner at Friday's where we recapped the swimming excitement

In between I watched two football games on DVR, including the Giants game, without hearing the score. I went to the Y sans any Giants hat or sweatshirt so no one would tell me what a great game I just missed. I even got to several sections of the Sunday Times, where I'm pretty sure I read that Henry Paulson's next bailout idea involves handing out George and Mary Bailey's $2,000 honeymoon money.

The Post-it Note

2008-11-12T21:36:00.002-05:00

Many times I come home to see the remnants of a game or activity the girls have played at some point during the day. It cracks me up to hear the explanations. Sometimes I'll see a mixing bowl of flour, sprinkles, spices, and water mixed together (both Jessica and Steffi have loved this "game" at different times, and the explanation generally comes down to "because it's there."

Yesterday there was red yarn that tied together the couch, recliner, and TV. Explanation? Jessica set up a circus for her stuffed animals. Once in a while I'll check on Jessica sleeping and I'll see 20 Care Bears wearing diapers (that's usually when she has trouble falling asleep; she'll play in her bed until she's ready to pack it in for the night).

But tonight there was a game that needed no explanation. There were Post-it notes all over the floor, each with the word "go" written on it. The notes started in the dining room and continued through the living room, up the stairs, into our bedroom, ending in the closet. Sitting on my shoe polish box (yes, I have one, and yes, I rarely use it) was a note that said, "We love you Daddy. Best Dad Ever!" I opened the note to find a photo of Steffi and Jessica, along with 10 reasons why they love me.

That made my week.

Who's Teaching Who?

2008-11-04T22:26:00.009-05:00

Yes, parents play a huge role in teaching their children. But I've found that if you listen closely, you can also learn a lot from your kids. Here's a few recent lessons from the girls:

1) Focus on the positive. I know, it's easy for a five year-old to be positive, right? But if I gave Jessica a nickel every time she answered "great" to a question (in a Tony the Tigerish way), she'd be halfway to paying for her college education by now. She has so much enthusiasm when she says it that it makes me feel, ummm...great as well. Here's a sample of the questions I've asked her in the last couple days that have elicited the "great!" response:

"How did you sleep?"
"How was school?"
"How was lunch?"
"How were the Lucky Charms?"
"How was your playdate?"
"How is the bruise on your knee?"

She loves life, and always finds something to love about it.

2) Help others. I generally carry three dollars or less in my wallet. I actually bought a $2 soup at a deli the other day with my Amex card because I had 70 cents on me. So whenever I ask my wife if she has any money on her if I'm running out somewhere, Steffi will be the first to reach into her money jar (actually a can) and offer to lend me whatever I need. She genuinely wants to share what she has. Recently we were out shopping and she offered to buy me a pair of shoes. When I was her age I'm pretty sure I was more interested in buying the latest KISS album or baseball cards than asking my dad if he needed some extra cash. But the larger point isn't about money, it's about offering help to others, even if they don't take you up on it.

3. Don't take things for granted. Yesterday Steffi's class had a mock Presidential election, and she was so excited to cast her vote. Jessica says she can't wait until she's 18 so she can vote (I told her she'd be 18 soon enough). Many countries envy the freedom we often take for granted. One of the greatest manifestations of this freedom is voting for the candidate of your choice. Don't take it for granted.

Halloween

2008-10-31T21:15:00.005-04:00

It was a great Halloween. I made it home by 4 to trick or treat with the kids. Steffi was the Queen of Spiders (sort of a witch costume with a spider slant to it) while Jessica was Belle. I told Jessica a couple days ago she looked as beautiful as she will on her wedding day. She looked at me with that "C'mon dad" look and said, "Daddy, don't you know brides wear white dresses. They don't wear yellow. They wear white, not yellow Daddy." (she likes to repeat things like this to make sure I get her point).

I dressed as Reaganomics, which I thought was timely since we've reached a crossing point in this economic policy. In the spirit of Halloween, I'd like to explain Reaganomics like this: let's pretend candy represents money. In traditional demand side economics, candy (money in the form of tax cuts) is given to all people, particularly lower wage earners. They are more likely to distribute this candy in the local communities (because they typically spend virtually all the money they make). Actually, 70% of our GDP is based on the candy that all of us, at every income level, redistribute back into the community (think the traditional Halloween scene - kids knocking on the door and getting candy from all the neighbors). At the end of the day, lots of people have lots of candy. Even those that gave away candy have children come home with candy of their own to share with their family. Everybody has a good time.

In Reaganomics (supply side economics), a majority of the candy would go to the top 1/2 of 1 percent of the population. But the other 99 1/2 percent of the population doesn't live in this community, so they aren't knocking on any doors to get candy. And a lot of this very small, hard working population is not interested in distributing the candy; they'd rather invest it to see if they could double, triple, or quadruple the amount of candy they have. This doesn't make them bad, mean, or someone to envy. Everybody loves candy. They were given a lot of it and they'd like to see a lot more of it.

But I guess I'm saying that Halloween is a lot more fun when everybody gets some candy.

BirthYAY!

2008-10-30T09:31:00.003-04:00

Best birthday present: my wife tells the girls that daddy is off today. Their response? YYYAAAAYYYY!!

As I climb up into the 40s, there are 3 things that ring as true today as they did when I was a kid:

1) I will leave my seat whenever the Giants score a touchdown
2) I will stop on any radio station playing a song by the Stones, Led Zeppelin, The Who or Pink Floyd
3) Reaganomics is not a sustainable economic policy

Wally Who?

2008-10-25T19:25:00.003-04:00

A lot of times when I drive around with the girls, they want to listen to my iPod. Not to any of my music, of course, but the various songs I've downloaded off iTunes that they like. But today Jessica had a special request for a song. They call it "Who Wally", but it's better known as Who Are You. They crack up at the "who who who who" part.

We've all sung the wrong lyrics to songs we've heard a million times, so I can't blame them for misunderstanding a song they've only heard a few times. It actually makes me feel better, because there's cursing in the song, and since they can't understand the chorus that's sung 50+ times, I feel secure that they can't make out the rest of the lyrics anyway.

The other song that cracks them up is "Pork and Beans" by Weezer because they say the word "underwear." But generally they just want to hear that verse over and over again rather than the whole song.

The only other song they'll listen to that's mine is U2's Original of the Species, because I told them that Bono wrote it for The Edge's daughter (that's true). They call that song, "the one that the guy wrote for the daughter." Sounds like what Dave Matthews would name a song.

The Goal

2008-10-19T08:24:00.003-04:00

Right now the highlight of my entire week is watching Jessica play soccer on Saturday mornings. The five-year-old version of soccer is three-on-three, no goalies, small field, and little girls crowding around the ball like a rugby scrum. But in just a few weeks the girls have started to show good skills in dribbling, passing, and shooting.

Yesterday Jessica scored 6 goals, most of which consisted of her dribbling the length of the field (using both feet!) and running at a pretty good speed. Of course I was the beaming dad, but what I am most proud of is that she shows the same fun and enthusiasm whether she's playing soccer, going to Bowcraft, heading off to school, or playing with her sister.

The whole point of sports at this age (maybe every age?) is to show her that with a little practice she can do whatever she sets her mind to. She demonstrated that yesterday, which was the biggest goal of all.

The Gray Hare

2008-10-16T20:37:00.004-04:00

Since she was about 9 months old, Steffi has slept with "bunny." This once yellow and white fluffy bunny is ripped, frayed, faded, flat, and at this point looks just as dirty coming out of the laundry as it did going in. But Steffi cannot go to sleep without it (kind of like me and my iPod).

The other morning Steffi brought bunny down to breakfast. I haven't seen him in a while, and he was looking...old. "Look at bunny," I said to Steff. "He's so...."

"Gray!" said Jessica helpfully in between spoonfuls of Lucky Charms. Before I could add to the dead on description, she said, "Like your hair." I thanked Jess for the great observations, but she must have felt bad, because she continued to qualify her remark. "I mean it's not a lot of gray. It's more on the sides. Both sides. Not on the top. A lot on the sides."

Yes, Jessica is very perceptive.

Kid 2.0

2008-10-15T20:09:00.002-04:00

A sign that your children are getting older: they no longer need you to help them navigate "Webkinz world," as they like to call it.

Chinese Philosophy

2008-10-05T10:22:00.003-04:00

Recently I was playing in the yard with the girls when Steffi asked me, "Dad, why is everything made in China?" I was instantly brought back in time to when I was a kid, when my dad would go on and on about how "nothing in America is actually made in America anymore." Eager to come up with a non-answer, I responded, "Who told you that?" She said no one told her, but if you looked on the back of almost any toy it says "made in China." She picked up lots of toys in the garage to prove her point.

Again I thought back to my childhood, to my dad's frequent laments that nothing in America was made in America anymore, which didn't totally make sense to me at the time because our family wasn't making anything ourselves anyway. I weighed giving Steffi some insight into how the world works versus keeping her mind focused on what an eight-year-old should be focused on, namely playdates, gymnastic classes, the Jonas Brothers, and Webkinz.

I joined her in the garage, looked her in the eye and said, "Who wants to go for a bike ride?"

Snap, Crackle, Pops

2008-09-28T10:37:00.003-04:00

This morning I was eating cereal (as usual) and reading the Sunday paper. Even though the kids are at the age that they sleep a little later, I usually get up early and start the day with coffee, cereal, and some sort of newspaper or magazine while everyone else is asleep. This morning Steffi told my wife and I that she usually hears me downstairs, particularly the cereal pouring into the bowl. She said she enjoys hearing that sound because it lets her know that dad is home. She had a big smile when she told us that. It made me smile because all this time I figured I was having "alone time" when in fact I was sharing a moment with my daughter and didn't even know it.

Medical Advice From a Five-Year-Old

2008-09-21T19:46:00.003-04:00

Jess has not been feeling well the last few days; she's got a cold and is not her usual self. I haven't been feeling great either, and I'm sure I got whatever bug she has. She spent Saturday sleeping, watching a little TV, and generally lying around trying to feel better. I started Saturday running a bunch of errands, and had about 6 more things on the to do list when I realized that the lounging on the couch thing didn't look like such a bad idea. So I hit the man room, turned on the Ryder Cup, and didn't feel guilty about not completing the list. Thanks Jess, for reminding me that sometimes the best thing "to do" is nothing at all.

Awesome

2008-09-15T20:13:00.006-04:00

My daughters love to use the word "awesome." I've heard this word in reference to everything from a video iPod to finding the last Popsicle in the freezer. It's used to describe any Jonas Brothers-related item. Finding a lost pencil, sticker, toy or stuffed animal stuck between their bed and the wall always elicits an awesome. Fixing anything for them. Awesome.

Recently I found out our current President is a big fan of this word as well. He is 62 years old. My girls are 5 and 8.

Awesome.

Dad, What are you doing?

2008-09-13T21:25:00.000-04:00

I get asked this question a lot. This morning it was during Jessica's soccer game. I helped coach Jesse's team today because the assistant coach didn't show up. Since she and her teammates are five, coaching means keeping the ball in bounds and pointing them toward the right goal. After about five minutes, Jessica notices I'm not leaving the field, and in a low voice that was almost a whisper asks, "Dad, what are you doing?" I told her I was helping coach her team. I'm not a coach. I'm Dad. The guy with the silly jokes. The one who will play in the rain and ride bikes and kill the bugs in her room. But to her credit, she accepted me as Coach, came in and out of the game when I asked, and scored a few goals as well. I had a lot of fun. I hope the assistant coach doesn't show up next week.